Scrooge McDuck’s #4 this year!!
December 5th, 2005 | by mbhunter |I Will Teach You To Be Rich posted on this festive Forbes funny: The Forbes Fictional Fifteen. Scrooge McDuck narrowly beat out Thurston Howell III and Willie Wonka, edging them out by $200 million.
I’m not sure whether Forbes realized it or not, but they proved that Santa Claus doesn’t exist! Here’s why:
- Let’s assume that Santa Claus does exist. Santa Claus, according to Forbes, is worth an infinite amount of dollars.
- If this is true, then there must have been an infinite number of dollars printed. (Some economists have already suspected this of the Greenspan Fed, and are all but certain of it under the Bernanke Fed.)
- If there has been an infinite number of dollars printed, then the purchasing power of a dollar must be zero.
- If this were the case, then prices — even at Wal-Mart — would be infinite, and no one could afford to buy anything.
- Since this is not the case, Santa must be fictional, since only in fantasy land can someone be worth an infinite amount of money. (Of course, all of the other fictional characters would be worth nothing too, but that’s all right — they’re fictional!)
Another point: The creators of these fictional characters didn’t aim very high. Bill Gates beats out everyone except Santa Claus, and the heirs of Sam Walton are worth more than fictional spots 2-15, combined!
