Comments on: Separate checking accounts, or keep them joint?

By: KH

KH — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 01:29:27 +0000

Good point here. When I was a stay at home mom, my husband always reminded me that he was “carrying me…” and now that I work, he still reminds me that he “carried me all those years.” Heck, I took care of OUR 4 kids…all those years…until all went to school. Now, I work full time, make good money…and don’t see any of it, bc he spends it all. We are considering separate checking accounts, which, I bet will eventually one day lead to separate lives…

By: Cylon

Cylon — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 23:48:47 +0000

Yes Chad, each of has our own set of issues; evident by the way you “beat me over the head” with your two-cents. Unfortunately, I am an advocate who works with victims who are involved with controlling and abusive jerks. I really did not intend to “ruffle” anyone’s feathers. I do have an observation and a question. Chris did not take offense to my observation. Why did you take it so personally?

By: Chad

Chad — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:35:54 +0000

Cylon,

Have a few issues, don’t we… This discussion is about finances, not how women should be praised (as well they should) for bearing children. You sure seem defensive after Chris’ post that lists relevant information about his situation. Their “allowance” is equal, regardless of wages made by either. So her wages are misely in comparison, so what? He still loves her and trusts her enough to pool their finances together, not separate which seems to clash with your notion that he despises his wife and child who benefit from his cars and his flat. What did you miss? Don’t beat the man over the head for taking care of his family. Sheesh!

By: Justin

Justin — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 05:47:23 +0000

I think that my fiance and i will go with three accounts, 1 joint, 2 separate. Besides the obvious advantages to privacy during gifting, there is also the idea that one person shouldnt control the others habits, at least not without a frank discussion of common goals and the like. If she wants to have starbucks every day, she should be able to. Conversely, if i want to eat at Burger King this week, I should be able to. If I run out of money too soon, lesson learned, or maybe an adjustment to our budget is in order. Same goes for her. As to the person whose boyfriend earns more than her, but only pays half….get out now. If he can’t be adult enough to realize the percentages, he obviously doesnt care about you or you guys.

By: cylon

cylon — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 01:35:11 +0000

Hi Chris,
I know that opinions are opinions and everyone is entitled, but wow, your true feelings seem to speak volumes. Why do you resent your support of your wife and your child? I applaud you not verbalizing your animosity towards your spouse; she did carry your child and most likely takes care of the child and your home.You should read your own post. You write about her misley money. The rest is about your flat, both of your cars, and your majority of income. You state that you freely give, but I truly doubt your honesty. I am unsure what she actually does, but by the tone of your letter she most likely pays for being the wife of such a miser.
Cylon

By: Chris

Chris — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 16:57:44 +0000

I’m sure the answer to this is that we are all individuals, and as such our marriges/partnerships will also each be individual. However for my two-pennethworth;
I earn the majority of the household income and my other half earns a misely amount (maternity) following the birth of our daughter. We pool all income into a joint account, from which all bills are paid, we share (my) flat and both of (my) cars freely. The joint account is fully budgeted and agreed on with amounts spent on savings / mortgage / one-off large expenses etc discussed. However, we each also receive a monthly “allowance” (the same amount), privately and under our individual control. This way there are no arguments about new shoes / handbags from me or PC or DVD purchases from her. Seems to work so far….

By: Brittni

Brittni — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:30:23 +0000

Laura–I agree.

My father recently left my mother shortly after their 25th wedding anniversary. I stopped by her house yesterday afternoon to find my 19 y/o brother teaching her how to balance her checkbook. She has no clue what she has, as far as assets and debt are concerned. She works, but she was really never involved in the finances while her and my father were married. It’s sad…

By: Brittni

Brittni — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:21:58 +0000

My husband and I are newlyweds. We have three checking accounts. His, hers and ours. We don’t plan on keeping things like this forever, but we think it’s a good idea for now. We make around the same amount of money (he makes a little more, but his car payment is higher) so we deposit the same amout into joint checking and into the joint savings each month. It’s helping us get used to handling finances together. I use my personal checking account for paying on the credit card I had before we were married and my car payment. Right now we pay for our own car insurance and cell phones, but of course once those are combined they will come out of the joint accout. We think it will be easier to use one checking account when there are less “his and hers” bills and more “ours” bills.

By: EGK

EGK — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:14:45 +0000

I have been struggling with this issue. My husband and I have been together for 1 year and have always kept things separate. I make more money than he,but only by about $10,000, yet because of his spending habits, I end up paying all our joint bills, mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. I debate whether joint checking would help, because I could track his spending, or it would be worse because then he would have access to more money.

By: EGK

EGK — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:09:06 +0000

You must not be married, when your’e married there is no privacy.