Debt is a form of slavery. You become a slave to your assets you purchase with debt.

Still, unless they had a critical illness or something like it, you have to be stupid to get that much debt. If it is because of a house – they should’ve bought a condo or rented.

I agree that the advice is obvious – cut expenses as much as possible, downsize if necessary, find additional income if possible. Live the lifestyle of someone earning 30K and not that of someone earning 150K.

Grace, I don’t know. I know it is easy for me to say because I earn over 100K alone and have a paid off home, but I wasn’t always making that much nor had I always had a paid off home. I have a friend who when he was unemployed managed to live for a year on 20K. I can easily live on half of my salary (after max allowed retirement contributions) without even trying or giving up anything I really like, but even when I had less or even was poor, I had no trouble with spending less than what I earned. The trick is to condition yourself not to even think twice about stuff you can’t or can barely afford, don’t buy stuff you don’t really need and maybe (if you think for a few minutes) don’t even want that badly. Sometime a few simple questions “where would I wear it”, “is this really worth that much money” (!), “is it really something special or is it similar to what I already have”, “do I really need to replace X” would cut down a number of purchases. A common advice is to save before you buy – this is common sense, but what people sometimes forget is that just because you have money to pay for something doesn’t mean it makes sense to do so. I think with some items if you need to save for it, you cannot afford it because the item itself may not be worth X months worth of savings. Whether something is worth a specific amount in savings depends on one’s interests, but it is always useful to think about it.

BTW – I’ve never even considered myself “frugal”, just normal, nor have I ever needed to keep a budget to spend less than what I earn. Maybe it is because I am from another generation or grew up in another country.

On some days, it surprises me that I have trouble living on the $75,000 I make, especially since it’s more than my parents ever made and it’s more than some of my friends make. $150,000 a year–why I could live nicely on that and never have debt. But the sad truth is, unless we’re paying attention, we spend what we make, and sometimes, we spend even more than that.

The good news is they are asking for help. I hope responders spend less time being judgmental and more time being helpful to them.

I agree – something doesn’t compute if they really have “no clue” what to do.

Mike