Getting to “no” with a child’s buying habits
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This year we started our daughter on an allowance. It’s probably a generous-ish allowance for a five-year-old: $2.50 per week. For “spending money” this actually amounts to $1.50 per week because we have her tithe 10% and save 30%.
I’ve gotten into giving this to her each week for the past couple of months. When I started with the allowance, I would forget to give it to her, so each time she got her allowance it was a bonanza ($10 or more at a time). She was living pretty high on the hog for a while, but now that she’s spent it down she’s running into scarcity, which is what we want. She has developed a liking to Polly Pockets, so what we did (to save her a little money) was to buy a lot on eBay, split them up and bag them up, and set a price on each bag. So it costs her $5 per bag of Polly Pocket stuff, which is a little more than three weeks’ spending money.
So, she’s not able to buy something that she wants from the Mom and Dad’s Polly Pocket Store each week. She has to wait. As we all do. 
Fast forward to this weekend
Her grandparents were in town, and we went to a restaurant for lunch. In this restaurant there are a few 25-cent vending machines that she has gotten stuff out of.
She asked if she could get a gumball. I told her, “All right. I can go up and get change, but this will come out of your allowance when we get home.” She said, “No, I don’t need one.”
I would have gone either way, but she had figured out that she didn’t want to spend a quarter on gum. It wasn’t worth the money. More to the point: It wasn’t worth her money.
This is the key. It’s now money coming out of her pocket, not out of Daddy’s pocket. Once a child sees first-hand what money can buy, and sees that money does not come in infinite supply, they start to see what money is worth, and begin to pick and choose what they spend it on, and how often.
Mission accomplished. The earlier, the better. The more often, the better. It’s far easier to get the child to say “no” for themselves than it is to be telling them “no” all the time.
5 Responses to “Getting to “no” with a child’s buying habits”
By Mark on Oct 26, 2010 | Reply
In my case it was my teenage daughters clothing. I give her an allowance, and she figures it out. Works great. She learned very quickly to shop for sales, look for discounts, pick brands based on quality and value. She discovered that cheap junk wears out and fancy names aren’t worth it.
By mbhunter on Oct 26, 2010 | Reply
Mark: Oh boy, the things I have to look forward to! I’ve got a few years before that happens but it will be here before I know it.
Some of my friends’ kids love consignment shops as well.
By Mark on Oct 27, 2010 | Reply
MBH: Just hand her what she thinks is a lot of money, and keep your mouth shut while she blows it on junk a couple of times. She’ll realize she could have had the cool sneakers if only she had bought the less expensive jeans.
Then you can have those “teachable moments” which kids hate!
By Ariella on Oct 27, 2010 | Reply
I use the same tactics. When kids ask for something they really don’t need, I tell them to pay for it with their own money. If they choose to blow it on candy (except sugared gum that I forbid b/c of cavities) that is their choice. But I am not going to pay for it. I do pay for all clothes and shoes except for extra type things, which my daughter accepts she has to pay for herself. My daughters do pick up quite a bit of money babysitting, but they spend it differently. One will spend it on fashion boots,while the other spends it on smaller purchases.
By Aloysa on Oct 27, 2010 | Reply
Interesting post… We don’t have kids but I think that making kids think about their spending from the early age really shapes their understanding for the future.